How to improve your essays

Compare these two texts:

TEXT 1: TOBY

Toby got up at 6 o’clock.

Toby had a bone for breakfast.

Toby was happy.

Toby jumped and ran.

Toby played with Ron and Pastor.

Toby went to the river.

Toby swam.

Toby liked the river.

Toby went back home.

Toby had dog food for dinner.

Toby barked at a cat.

Toby went into his shed.

Toby slept at 11 o’clock.

TEXT 2: TOBY

In the morning Toby got up at 6 o’clock. Then he had a bone for breakfast. After that, Toby played with Ron and Pastor. He jumped and ran as he was happy.

Next, he went to the river where he swam, because he likes the river.

In the afternoon Toby went back home, and  he barked at a cat.

In the evening, he had dog food for dinner. Next, he went into his shed and, finally,  slept at 11 o’clock.

In both texts the content is almost the same. The difference lies in the connectors and cohesive resources used. Time references, sequencers and conjunctions in general let us connect and organise our ideas, not just offer a list of actions carried out by Toby.

Which words should we keep in mind when writing basic texts? I propose this basic list:

• First
• In the morning /afternoon/evening
• Then,
• Next,
• After that,
• so (consequence)
• because (cause)
• while
• when
• Although,
• However,
• Finally